About this time last year, I began to realize that despite my best efforts and positive outlook, my hard work and dedication to my education and my career were not bringing me the satisfaction or the fulfillment I had anticipated. I knew before I accepted my first job in Manhattan that the big-city, five day-a-week commute was not for me. But I did believe my passion for books and editing would make the hustle of New York City worth my time and discomfort. Within months I began to feel disheartened by the lifestyle -- by the daily reminders that I would always be rushing to play catch-up, that the email inbox would never clear, that there would never be enough hours in the work day to finish the list of tasks I'd laid out. I felt shattered by my own inability to rise to the task, to put on a happy face, to commit to the life I had said I had wanted.
Furthermore, there was an incessant nagging at the back of my brain (and at the very front of my heart) telling me that I was ignoring my passion and creativity. That I was rushing through the hours of my day without paying attention to my own and others' humanity. I was denying my urge to live every moment fully, to truly see the people in front of me, to breathe fresh air and smile into the sun -- these very basic, but very important things, that many of us give up in order to pay the bills, to succeed in the eyes of others, to accomplish our goals (rightfully so).
When approached with the opportunity to travel the United States for two months with my friend Libby and her friend David (I'd never even met him before agreeing to join them on the road!), I knew immediately it was an experience I wanted to have. I'd talked of driving across country since college, considered selling band-merch on tour, loved driving from New York to Florida as a child on family vacations. I began to recognize that, for me, what makes life worthwhile is waking up each day and staying true to the ideals I hold as truth. I believe we are all able to build the lives we seek, as long as we are willing to stand up for them and are willing to give ourselves the freedom to take the opportunities we truly desire.
And so here I am, just about a year out from that decision to walk away from my publishing carreer, about nine months from the date we left New York, and seven months from setting foot back in New York wondering where the heck do I go from here?
These last seven months I've let myself off the hook from answering to anyone else's expectations for me and my own plans for me, as well. I've woke when I wanted to, dressed how I wanted to, photographed, visited, played, sang, and enjoyed just being myself. I've started a freelance editing business; I've wanted many times to start a blog. But it wasn't until very recently that I finally found what my heart had been screaming inside about for so long.
And so here is my website, where I hope to share my photos and my art, and sometimes the stories that go along with them. (All photos are clickable, FYI, for a larger view.)
I'll start with this photo from early Summer 2013.
Sunset, Jones Beach Bait & Tackle, Long Island NY
June 2013
The afternoon I took this photo was overcast and stormy, though you likely hadn't guessed so by looking at this particular shot. It was late afternoon when I looked outside and saw storm clouds coming in from Northern Long Island. I grabbed my camera and figured I'd watch the clouds roll in over Jones Beach (on the bay side), listen to the rain, and simply just enjoy whatever mother nature decided to bring.
When I got to Jones, the sun rays were struggling to come through the clouds, though occasionally they did. I spent an hour or so taking photos of people fishing, seagulls flying around, a few kids paddle boarding, before the drizzle--and then full rain--started. I waited out the storm in my car for maybe a half-hour before the rain moved away out past the bay-side of Jones Beach and on to the ocean. As it did, the sun started to peak out creating a rainbow I could spy from my front windshield. It wasn't long before I couldn't stand to sit in the car any longer; I wrapped my camera in my sweatshirt and hopped back outside.
The last of the rain trickled out, and excited by both the rainbow and the impending sunset, I ran around the J.B. Bait and Tackle pier taking photos of everything I could. By the time I snapped this one, the sun was already sinking down, but I loved how the water of the bay reflected the yellows, pinks, and oranges of the sky above it.
I love the hard lines the dock creates here and the way the water shimmers with light. I try to edit most of my photos with a light hand, though this one I thought deserved a little extra vividness, as the afternoon was stunning to me from beginning to end -- from overcast, to cloudy, to storm, to rainbow, to sunset.
I'm sure I'll be posting more from this afternoon later down the line -- I just have too many favorites to choose fairly right now. : )
Thank you for making it to the end of the first post!